I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
