it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
