what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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