It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
