Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
