He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
