How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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