hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
