Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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