The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
