i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
