I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
