You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
