jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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