Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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