Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
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