I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
