i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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