If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
