I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
