Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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