I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
