we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
