thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
