Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Randomize
