First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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