So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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