I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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