Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
