I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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