He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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