Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
