guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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