i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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