scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
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