So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize