U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
