I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
