Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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