If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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