this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
