I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
