btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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