THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
