How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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