I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
