she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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