What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize