Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Even my vagina gasped.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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