she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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