singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
