I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Randomize
