I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I touched a dick in church today
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize
