Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize