my phone needs a breathalizer
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize
