just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
