We won't sleep together?
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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