I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize