google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
