covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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