dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Randomize
