It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
