There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Even my vagina gasped.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
